


I Swear I'm Fine

by herculesthekitten



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Bullying, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, also not super romantic mostly about their friendship, and no beta im a weenie and criticism scares me, not graphic yk?, remastered version of fic i wrote when i was 13 so it might end up super convoluted tbh, takes place around s2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29508279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herculesthekitten/pseuds/herculesthekitten
Summary: Connie is having a rough time with school and bullies. Will she withdraw and isolate, or reach out for help from those who love her?
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Kudos: 6





	I Swear I'm Fine

I sigh as I walk down the halls of Beach City Middle School. Seventh grade is _hard._ Not the work, of course. I always have time to escape to the world of The Unfamiliar Familiar, my favorite book series. It’s my peers that make this so hard. Knowing how cruel they can be, it’s hard for me to even find the motivation to get out of bed on weekdays.

As I come to the conclusion that middle schoolers are objectively the worst people on the planet, I find myself on the floor. I cry out as somebody stomps on my hair. Good thing my glasses don’t have lenses anymore. My mom would kill me if I had to get a new pair.

Next come the insults. 

“Freak!”

“Nerd! No one likes you.”

And so the assault continues. Somehow, I can’t really bring myself to care. It’s not like they’re saying anything I don’t know already. They could be a little kinder to me physically, but whatever. I deserve it anyways.

When the bell rings and everyone rushes to class, it means I’m finally free. Unfortunately, it also means I’m late. Great. Now they’ll call Mom.

Hopefully my classmates don’t pay too much attention to me when I get to class. 

“Ms. Maheswaran, you’re late,” my history teacher sighs.

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Ray! I fell on my way here..?”

My excuse comes out as a question. It’s... obviously unbelievable. Someone snickers.

_Crap. Please ignore me please please please._

Here comes the anxiety. I try to take deep, even breaths to keep from hyperventilating. It mostly works and I start to calm down a little. Of course, it's only temporary. I’m never lucky.

“Can you stop breathing so loudly? I can barely hear the lesson,” the girl sitting next to me says, clearly annoyed.

“Uh… yeah. Sorry, Julie!” I squeak.

Julie rolls her eyes at me in response. 

I wish Steven were here. He’s the only person around whom I don’t feel like a waste of space. Everything would be so much easier if we could spend more time together!

I hate school. If my classmates knew how hard I already am on myself, maybe they’d lay off….

*~*

At lunch, I sit alone, as always. This is the worst part of my day. While everyone else is fooling around with their friends after a morning of schoolwork, I’m trying to eat as quickly as possible so I can hide in the library.

When I get up to throw away my trash, somebody pushes me from behind. I land headfirst in the trash can. Wonderful. 

“Looks like you tripped, fatty!”

The cafeteria screams with laughter as I wipe away my tears and rush out of the room. I don’t bother going to the student bathrooms to clean up. More opportunity for bullies? No thanks.

Instead, I go to the school counselor- she has a bathroom that she lets me use. It’s technically against school policy, but I guess she feels bad for me. 

“Hi, Ms. Brenda.”

“Well hello, Connie! To what do I owe the pleasure….” The older woman pauses. “What happened to you?”

“I… tripped!” _Great job, use the same excuse twice in one day. Real smart._

“I see. Why don’t you take a minute to wash up?” Ms. Brenda says and she hands me the key to her small bathroom.

Five minutes later, when I walk out and give the key back, Ms. Brenda stops me.

“Connie, you should stay for a while. I’ll have you excused from 5th period.”

I cringe. “Alright….”

“Your teachers have been saying that you seem distant and afraid. You’re still doing well academically, but they’re worried about you emotionally. I’m inclined to agree. What’s going on?” She gives me a gentle and encouraging smile. “You can tell me anything, Connie. I’m here for you. Is something wrong at home? Are you having issues with the other students?”

At the mention of my classmates, I sharply inhale and avoid Ms. Brenda’s gaze. Of course, she (rightfully) takes this as a sign.

“Connie, please don’t hide from me. If it’s bullies that have been getting you down, you need to report them to me so they can be dealt with. At the very least, I need to know so I can be better equipped to help you. You know you’re worthy of love and fair treatment, don’t you?”

“Yes… everything’s fine. It’s all good. I’m okay. I promise. Can I have a pass to class now?”

The counselor sighs. “I can’t make you talk to me, but please at least talk to your parents. If your situation hasn’t improved by the end of next week, I’m going to call them for a conference.”

I open my mouth to protest, but Ms. Brenda cuts me off.

“It’s not a threat, Connie. It’s a promise. I want you to be secure. It’s my job to ensure that you have all the tools to be happy and successful while you’re going to school here.”

I finally bring my eyes up to meet her gaze, and I can tell she is completely earnest.

“Okay. I’ll talk to my mom.”

*-*

When Mom gets home from work, I try to put on a cheerful façade. “Afternoon, Amma!”

“Hello, Connie. How was school? Did you have a good day?” Mom asks as she hangs her coat up and leaves her purse by the door.

“Eh… it was all right. Same old, same old.”

She smiles at me. “Good to hear, darling. Make sure to do your homework tonight. You’ll want a clear schedule tomorrow if you’re still planning on seeing that boy… what’s his name? Stevie? I forget.”

“It’s _Steven_.” I laugh weakly. “And I know, Amma. I’ll get it done after dinner.”

“Okay. I love you, Connie.”

“Love you too, Amma.”

In that moment, I remember everything Brenda said and what I’d promised to talk to Mom about. But I just can’t do it. Instead, I head to my room and stare at the ceiling until I’m called down for dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> hopefully i update this in a week [actually forgets about it for 4 years again like a boss B)]


End file.
